Thursday, December 7, 2023

d100 Weird Space Jobs

So there is a great channel on the OSR Discord server called #dice-democracy where you can crowdsource random tables. 

Therefore, this isn't 100% my work; the people on the server are very creative when it comes to stuff like this. I'm very grateful for them putting up with my ideas for tables. 

This is by far my favorite table that I started, tho. 


d100 Weird Space Jobs

1. interstellar ice cream courier
2. nebular billboard degausser
3. ansible debarnacler
4. asteroid arranger
5. warp customs
6. swarm wrangler
7. lunar groundskeeper
8. scream queen
9. hivemind anthropologist
10. Terran artifact peddler
11. zero G toothpaste engineer
12. black hole stuntman
13. butlerian jihadi
14. space whaler
15. comet hauler
16. comet melter
17. water merchant
18. viscera cleanup detail
19. supernova haruspex
20. wormhole digger
21. dyson sphere maintenance slave
22. space marine flair designer
23. musician of the spheres
24. artist who spray paints wicked vistas with bikini sorcerers on the sides of space vans
25. ark pilot
26. bikini sorcerer in space
27. planetary evacuation legionnaire
28. ark animal (space fema missed their planet)
29. flat earther
30. alien exchange student
31. interspecies relationship counselor
32. wormhole plugger
33. escape pod hermit
34. warpspace search-and-rescue
35. false god of a backwater world
36. sexy lifeguard on the desert planet
37. bureaucrat who keeps water off the desert planet
38. smuggler who smuggles water onto the desert planet (to hydrate the beach lifeguard)
39. white hole hunter
40. stellar speculator
41. silicate rights advocate
42. space pod habitat realtor
43. space pod habitat squatter
44. uploaded chain gang laborer
45. panspermist
45. software liberator
46. terraformer (not a specialist at terraforming planets, but a specialized sculptor who makes dirt sculpture)
47. higgs tuner
48. PhD student (researching 18th century enlightenment philosophy)
49. ham radio operator
50. living telescope
51. starship graffiti artist / tagger
52. gaian medium
53. generation ship mob boss
54. planet crackers union organizer
55. glassing lensgrinder
56. interplanetary cargo cult member
57. salvia-smoking warp helmsman
58. bacterial ambassador
59. rabbi
60. passenger dessicator/rehydrator
61. galactic shrink
62. exterminatus ethics review board member
63. antimatter transplant
64. nonsentient art historian
65. the other kind of nonsentient art historian
66. fundamentalist christian apologist (thinks aliens are demons)
67. fundamentalist christian apologist (thinks aliens dont exist)
68. photonic yogi
69. orbital skateboarder
70. pope
71. antipope (must not touch 70)
72. ring jockey
73. microgravity polo player
74. wargamer who owns the entire system
75. alien daytime tv addict
76. ftl paradox police
77. xenogastronomist
78. sasquatch hunter
79. sentient disarmament treaty
80. bespoke cleaning cockroach designer
81. mass overdose khole singularity node
82. dark matter refinery worker with fucked up lungs
83. starchild orphanage marm
84. gamma ghost
85. gamma ray watchman
86. Roko's Basilisk retroactive torture enforcer
87. artificial general intelligence self improvement book and motivational speaker
88. AI punching bag (human for AIs to yell at to relieve stress)
89. cosmic microwave background whisperer
90. cosmic horror holiday agent (sends greeting cards to horrors on all major holidays so they don't get mad)
91. positronic neurologist
92. radio retiree (misses embodiment, regrets immortality)
93. heat death cultist
94. deflationary technician
95. extropy cultist
96. machine elf hobo
97. xenodistiller
98. solar gas pumper
99. dark matter angel extirpator
100. jump drive animist (priest)

Note: Sharp-eyed readers will notice that there are two 45s. Choose one, or replace one of the others with "software liberator" (maybe 66 or 67, not sure we need both, but YMMV)

I don't remember who wrote what (go to the OSR Discord server if you wanna see), but personally my faves are 1, 9, 35, 45 (either one), 59, 69 (nice), 86, 88, 96, and 99. At least, right now... 

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